Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
