I should be sponsored by Trojan
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
