K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
