You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I deserve to be covered in dicks
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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