if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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