I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
