Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
