Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
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