but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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