There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
