you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
