Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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