have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
