i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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