Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
