So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
