took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
