that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
