I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
