dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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