The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
