Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
