am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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