Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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