I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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