problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
