wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The ass gains better be worth it
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