I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
