She announced her abortion via fbk
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
