I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
