Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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