i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
