Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
