Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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