giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
