Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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