Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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