I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
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It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
