So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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