sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
