If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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