I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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