go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
