Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
