How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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