So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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