He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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