I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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