Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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