so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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